Friday, June 26, 2009

Beg the Differ: The Jazz Pick Eric Maynor

(Beg the Differ is a semi-regular column where we the editors debate what's what and stuff.)
me:So, what do you think about the Jazz pick?
Corban: Eh
me: (I'm not including the 2nd rounder.)
Corban: What can you do with the 20th pick?
me: I kind of liked the pick. Although, I think the fans at the draft party showed their ignorance by booing O'Connor.

5 minutes
Corban: What are you trying to say?
me: Did you boo?
Corban: I fully expected the Jazz to be able to trade up by sending Jarron Collins to the Clippers packaged with a second rounder for Blake Griffin.
me: Yeah, but I'm glad they drafted someone who seems like he will be a competent backup PG . . . and, of course, the second coming of John Stockton.
I may have overstated my approval a little too much.
Corban: Jazz fans booed John Stockton too.
me: I know
Corban: Sloan made comments last night that made it sound like Maynor would be the #3 PG.
Assuming they re-sign Price.
me: Yeah well, although Deron Williams was drafted to play the starter role, he played from the bench for a good part of his rookie season.
Maynor will be the same, except one position down.
Corban: We'll see if the Jazz even sign Price.
If not, they'll have to play Maynor, right?
me: Right, since Carlton won't be back.
Corban: I think Collins is gone too.
me: What? Not Jason! Nooooooo!!!!
Of course I mean Jaden.
Corban: No the short one.
me: Oh, Judah.
No, Jermaine?
Jojo?
Ah, screw it. He's kind of like Carlton too. He just doesn't look like him.
I bet he dances like him though.
Corban: You're not trying to say that all black people look alike are you?
me: No, but white people? I can't tell you people apart.
Corban: What do you mean, you people?
me: I mean, you people make me sick.
So is it time to wish complete and utter failure from the Knicks?
Corban: Yes.
me: (Not that I wasn't wishing it before.)
Corban: I hope they go into complete rebuilding mode this year.
Just clearing cap space and taking bad expiring contracts so they can make a run at Lebron next summer.
me: Who's their best player? Nate Robinson? David Lee? Charles Oakley?
I'm really not sure.
Corban: Me either.
me: Is Bernard King still on the team?
If not, someone should tell the Beastie Boys...
Corban: And David Lee is a restricted free agent so if he gets a big contract somewhere else they probably won't match.
me: He's white and he hustles, right?
Corban: yep
me: And Boozer will probably be playing in Detroit next season, right?

Corban: Chad Ford doesn't think that the Pistons will make Boozer an offer now.
He thinks that Boozer is probably not opting out.
me: Oh well, I guess I shouldn't be disappointed that our All-Star-ish power forward is staying.
Corban: Unless he misses 60 games again while keeping us on the brink of the luxury tax.
And I like Boozer as a player.
me: Why am I mildly excited about drafting a good backup point guard in the first round?
What's wrong with me?
Maybe I have a brain tumor.
Corban: For some reason, as Jazz fans, we have this fascination with the guy playing immediately behind our iconic PG.
It goes back as far as I can remember.
Which is Delaney Rudd.
me: Delaney Rudd is your first memory?
Corban: Of a Jazz backup point guard.
I remember that Ricky Green existed but I can't remember him playing.
me: Ricky Green can't even remember if he existed, so...
Oh, supposedly the Knicks traded Q. Richardson straight up for Darko.
I'm somewhat giddy about that.

(Josh's note: ESPN guys Chad Ford and Bill Simmons both liked the Maynor pick, so maybe my excitement is justified.)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Snap Judgment: R.I.P. Michael Jackson


Michael Jackson died today after a cardiac arrest. No matter what you think of the man, his music was legendary. Although I was a little late to the party, Dangerous provided the soundtrack to my pre-teen adolescence.
R.I.P. Mike.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Snap Judgment: AK-47 and the Bahamanian Beach Pig

What is wrong with this picture? Is it the Jazz forward on a jet ski (and he's not smiling)? Is it that Bill Simmons may be right and Kirilenko looks more and more like he really did kill Apollo Creed? Is it that he looks like he's trying to lure the animal onto his waverunner? Is it that Bahamanian Beach Pig sounds like a Bond villain's henchman?
No.
It's that I now know that a Bahamanian beach pig has it better than I do.

(via KUTV)

For your listening pleasure while you contemplate Bahamanian beach bacon:

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Snap Judgment: The Zack Attack is Back!


Commitment. That's Mark Paul-Gosselaar's middle name. (And you thought he had too many names is it was. Ah, to be so innocent.) Last night he came back as Zack Morris on Jimmy Fallon's show. And Zack doesn't look like he has aged a bit, sure he's more orangey, but he looks about the same. Weird. Watch the segment below to get an update on what the gang's up to.