Do you want this guy taking over for your twelve-year-old?Corban: How's it going?'
| 7 minutes |
me: Fine.
| 16 minutes |
me: That was it?
Corban: For now.
me: Okay, just checking.
Corban: I'm just bored.
me: Aha.
Corban: So, anything new going on?
me: Nopers.
Do you want to hear the worst sports movie idea ever?
Corban: yes
me: Ashton Kutcher will star in a comedy about "a superstar NFL quarterback and a 12-year-old geek who magically trade bodies, then learn valuable lessons about humility and courage."
Corban: Are they actually making that movie?
me: Apparently.
Corban: Hasn't that movie been made a couple of times?
Once with Lindsay Lohan and another time with Dudley Moore and the religious guy from Growing Pains?
me: It was originally called "Freaky Friday." I think they may be on to something. Combine a crappy Disney movie with a sports-lite theme, add a crappy name actor and you've got an audience full of 12 year old girls and their cougar moms.
Two professional basketball stars, one an Eastern European long-distance center and one American lumbering big man play against each other one night, oblivious to the fact they look exactly the same. Suddenly, down in the low block they turn and look at each other. Wham! They realize they're twins!
Corban: Starring Carrillo Fesko?
Sorry I recently heard Hot Rod attempt to say his name.
me: Yes and starring Sharon Stone as the American mother who raised the lumberjack and Yakov Smirnoff as the Eastern European father.
Corban: And Brian Dennehy as the tough coach with a heart of gold.
Featuring the Olsen twins as the conflicted love interests of our heroes.
Conflicted only in the sense that they don't know whether or not to eat a sandwich.
me: My favorite scenes are when Trevor teaches Sergei how to "make it rain" and when Sergei teaches Trevor how to wear flip flops in the shower.
Corban: Wait, I thought you said he was Eastern European.
Why would he be in the shower?
me: Because he's in the U.S. In Svenalonia, he had to wear flip flops to avoid the goat droppings while washing off under a bucket.
| 23 minutes |
Corban: Does this movie have a title?
me: It's called Sergei and Trevor's Crazy Adventure Time
Corban: Oh, so it's a foreign film.
me: A little foreign, a little Country
Corban: Wait, it's a little foreign country?
me: Let's just say it's part foreign film, part Western.
No comments:
Post a Comment