Sometimes things don't work out how you'd like them to. Sometimes life gets in the way of things you enjoy. Sometimes you can't post on a little-read blog because you're stuck between two competing crime syndicates. Sometimes you just make stuff up because the truth is somewhat less interesting. This is my dilemma.
(Read Parts I, II, III, and IV.)
Things stay delusional and somewhat homophobic.
March 23, 2010:
Josh: Why do I have to work at a place that can't function without me?! I want to be dispensable.
Corban: You should start working for The Differ. Everyone is dispensable there. Of course, there are no benefits, no sick days and no pay.
Josh: But, there is a feeling of self-satisfaction.
Corban: Don't forget the view. It's great from the high horse.
But, the fall is brutal.
Josh: I'm going to insist people begin calling me "Captain."
Corban: I think "Colonel" is more impressive. If you're going to make up a rank, you should go big.
Josh: Who said make up? Self-assigned is not the same as made-up.
Corban: What are you Captain of?
Josh: Industry.
Corban: Which industry? There are lots of them.
Josh: Yes. It's a lot of work.
Corban: So, you're just undercover at your current job?
Josh: Something like that. I'm just over all the industries. Just not the gay ones.
Corban: Like steel mills?
Josh: And glitter factories.
Corban: I bet you don't know the real reason Geneva Steel closed. It was too gay for Utah County.
Josh: Wasn't "Too Gay for Utah County" Geneva Steel's slogan?
Corban: It went over as well as a cross dresser at a church prayer.
Josh: So, this has happened to you? Is it hard to have the eyes of the entire church on you at once?
Corban: You have no idea.
Wait, what just happened?
Josh: That's our family slogan, "Wait, what just happened?"
Corban: We should put it on our family crest.
Josh: Do you know who the Captain of Gay Industry is?
Corban: John Waters?
Josh: You'd think so, but no. It's Herman "Lady" GaGa.
(Part VI: Tomorrow.)
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