Sometimes things don't work out how you'd like them to. Sometimes life gets in the way of things you enjoy. Sometimes you can't post on a little-read blog because you're stuck between two competing crime syndicates. Sometimes you just make stuff up because the truth is somewhat less interesting. This is my dilemma.
(Read Parts I, II, III, IV, and V.)
Things are about to get much more subversive. Hide the children (in case you didn't do that as soon as you pulled this page up.)
March 23, 2010:
Josh: Is sexahol the most addicting substance known to man?
Corban: Nope. Chocohol.
Josh: . . . known to MAN.
Corban: Ah, the qualifier. Then, yes.
Josh: Does one drink it, or shoot it up, or is it some sort of powder?
Corban: All of the above.
Josh: At the same time?
Corban: Only if you're Tiger Woods.
Josh: Oh, so he'd lie on the ground, arms outstretched with mouth agape; then, one of his dealers ("mistresses") would shoot a bazooka of needles, powder, and liquefied sexahol at him from above?
Corban: I see it more like there are many water balloons filled with powder and liquid sexahol. Then they fling it at him with one of those elastic balloon launchers.
Josh: Uh, Corban, those aren't balloons.
What are they then? What?!
April 20, 2010:
Corban: You know how I was pessimistic about the Jazz's chances? Now I'm optimistic, but I'd look like a huge bandwagoner if I say that publicly. I'm not a bandwagoner. I'm just irrational when it comes to the Jazz.
Josh: Wasn't the Bandwagoner a 1970's Jeep station wagon?
But seriously, Jazz fans are noted for three things: volume, persecution complexes, and defeatism. So you're not alone.
Corban: WHAT?! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!! The officials are out to get us! We might as well give up.
Josh: That's what's know as a Jazz-related infarction.
Or a Jazzgasm.
Corban: Careful, this is a family site.
Josh: I'm just labeling your condition. I'm kind of a scientist.
Corban: English does not count as a science. I'm a "kind of" scientist.
Josh: Well, that's where we differ, I guess.
April 21, 2010:
Corban: Can I bring you some lunch?
Josh: That's okay. You can just owe me a favor.
Corban: You sure? Maybe I don't want to owe you a favor.
Josh: Sorry, them's the breaks.
The transformation into mafioso is almost complete. Never owe a mobster a favor, it's a bad idea.
June 28, 2010:
Corban: I don't need a ride anymore. I rented a helicopter.
Josh: That's one way to avoid traffic I guess.
Corban: I deserve it.
And he's afraid to owe any more favors.
(Part VII: Tomorrow)
I thought he was referring to his cake "science".
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